IF YOU DON’T SHIP MY OTP I SWEAR TO GOD i’ll be okay with that
YOU DON’T LIKE MY FAVORITE THING, I’M GONNA respect the fact that you have your own taste
(via benries)
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”
The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
(via whiteraven93)
When you push instead of pull.
there’s always someone who’s attractive in an unconventional way and i just sit there marveling over how attracted i am to them
[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”
(via inordinatelyarticulate)
WARNING: DO NOT KISS BIRDS
you might get chirpes
(Source: virginia-isforlovers, via lostsoul-fishbowl)
Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market
(via gayborhoodwatch)
this is the best thing in the entire world she should greet jane as if nothing happened and see how jane reacts i always need to reblog this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (via grimpenvillage)
-
Dumbledore:
Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
-
Dumbledore:
I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
-
Dumbledore:
There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
-
Dumbledore:
And it just goes up every year
-
Dumbledore:
I guess that just means all your parents hate you
-
Dumbledore:
Great let's have some pumpkin juice
-
Dumbledore:
30 points go to Griffindor for Harry's breathing techniques
when i find myself in times of trouble
robert pattinson comes to me
speaking words of wisdom
“my favorite animal would definitely be an elephant. because, well, it’s not just a pet. you can lie under it and it’s basically a house.”
(Source: hateruess, via itsjustasparkofdestiel)
